Building One Another  

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11

Love is Willingness to be Frustrated!

Dear Friend,

Bernard Harnick, a marriage and family counselor in Zurich, enjoyed teaching that, “Love is a willingness to be frustrated!”

The first time I heard that, I wondered what he was talking about since frustration may not be the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about love! He was referring to Ephesians 5:21, “Out of reverence for Christ, yield to one another.”

He explained that in a relationship, the other person may want to do something that you do not want to do. It may even be the opposite of what you want to do!

However, out of love and out of reverence for Jesus, you are willing to be frustrated, to yield your preference and go with the other’s person’s choice – while you, in grace, absorb the disappointment, without a grumble or a roll of the eyes or a complaint to someone else.

Out of love, Jesus was willing to suffer, that we may know joy. So, we are willing to be frustrated with grace for the joy of others. The gift of grace is always expensive for the giver, yet gives joy to the receiver!

In a healthy relationship, both people yield to one another, out of love.

However, in the event of abusive or inappropriate behavior, love does not yield with gracious frustration but stands up to such conduct!

Read these familiar words of the Apostle Paul slowly and allow them to inspire your willingness to love even when it’s frustrating to you:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  I Corinthians 13:4-7

Joy to you – Stan

© Copyright 2022 E. Stanley Ott

Scripture from the ESV

1. Think of a situation where another person you are in a relationship with - a spouse, child, friend, co-worker, neighbor - wanted to do something that you did not want to do? How did you handle if? If you yielded out of grace to their preference, how did you handle your disappointment?
2. Think of another situation, in this case when some else yielded to your preference. How did they handle their disappointment?
3. Is there a situation right now in your life where you have the choice of demanding your preference or yielding to another person's? What will you do and how will you handle your response, in either direction?

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash